


"Wait for me."

by Munchingpotatoes123



Category: GHOST | GHOST and Pals (Musician), Honey I'm Home - GHOST | GHOST and Pals (Song)
Genre: A lot of themm, Angst, Feelings, Hurt/Comfort, I love charon yall, It's not excessive but it's there, Norman has a Depressive Episode heehaw, Oneshot, Other, References to Abuse, References to Depression, Religious Content, i just, idk whether to tag this m/m or not so im just gonna not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:35:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25293316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Munchingpotatoes123/pseuds/Munchingpotatoes123
Summary: Getting accustomed to life in heaven was a challenge for Norman, to put it lightly. Having the entirety of your life invalidated on a whim will make things a bit rough, add in a heaping tablespoon of existential panic and overwhelming loneliness, and you have the perfect recipe for a miserable life.Maybe if he had someone to talk to about those struggles, things wouldn't be so bad.(please read the beginning notes)
Relationships: Charon & Norman da Luz, Charon/Norman da Luz
Comments: 3
Kudos: 28





	"Wait for me."

**Author's Note:**

> hi hi hi this is my contribution to the fandom because I am DYING for any sort of new honey im home content so I decided FUCK IT im finna make it myself
> 
> this was a very very self-indulgent piece, please don't take it too seriously :, ) I wrote this in two and a half sittings and they were all at the most inconvenient times imaginable so the pacing is v off and i use certain words too often and kgjdflkjdfldkfjdlskfjldfkjdlkjdfgklj yeah its not great
> 
> that being said tho, If ghost wants me to take this fic down for whatever reason then ill gladly do so! i tried both getting in contact with them and asking the patreon server to see if it was ok and i didn't get any responses :(( so hghhnkjbngk e ghost if ur reading this and u hate it im sorry 
> 
> OH OH AND ALSO IMPORTANT TRIGGER WARNINGS. this fic has re-occurring themes of 'fake reality' or being disjointed with reality. There are also allusions to implied abuse (norman with his-step dad and charon with god), but it isn't too excessive. Of course with it being hih there's gonna be a lot of stuff relating to religion and god being a benevolent, malicious entity. norman has a depressive episode in there too so be careful if ur particularly sensitive to that stuff!! 
> 
> also im sorry if this was formatted weird ao3 gets all fucky wucky and i never know how to get around it hnfjf
> 
> hmmm ok i think that's it

Things have been strange ever since Norman had been taken up to heaven.

Well, that should be obvious enough, considering he’s had to deal with the crushing reality that everything he’d previously perceived as reality was all just an illusion; everything, from the relationships he’s developed with other people- good and bad- to his favorite spot in the woods and his rocky home life, was nothing more than a simulation. But once the existential dread settled and he’d taken the time to get accustomed to life above the clouds, he’d found that, ironically, the biggest problems he’d have to face would be the sudden change in lifestyle.

Norman didn’t like change. He didn’t like having someone pull the rug from underneath his feet and demanding he get used to it. He liked the order of a day-to-day schedule, dull as it may get, because it was comfortable and stable. Not only was getting beamed up to heaven a big change on it’s own, but there was no way he could predict what was going from one day to the next.

Norman was confined to staying in a singular small house provided by God, much like his old one he used to live in (which was absolutely terrible for his mental state during those long, bleak nights, but that’s beside the point). It had a kitchen, and a bedroom, and just about everything he could ever need. He was never allowed to go past a certain point in a radius surrounding it, and the closest he could get to going outside was a vast, empty balcony with no railing that seemed to stretch across all of God’s domain.

Aside from that, God would make frequent yet unpredictable visits to check up on him. Sometimes He’d come over twice a day, and others He’d go weeks without checking up on the boy, leaving him to his own accord for a large majority of his stay. The days when God would come over would always be the worst; there was a certain aura that followed the figure, clinging to His aged, boney structure. It brought with it warmth, yet in a way that made Norman’s stomach churn, and with that bright yellow aura came an awkward and tense atmosphere that clogged his throat and ran knots in his stomach;.

Norman was scared of God. For a lot of reasons. His imposing structure and calm, still demeanor was intimidating, of course, but more than anything, it was the ambiance of fear and ‘you better be quiet around me’ that followed Him around everywhere. It reminded Norman far too much of his step-dad, someone he hated thinking about in general, but more than that, it reminded the boy of the fact that said step-dad’s actions and words still haunted him. Even here. Even after knowing what he does about the world he once believed was real.

But there was one thing about God’s visits that he didn’t completely hate, though, and that was His assistant, Charon. Charon was something akin to a grim reaper, being the one responsible for taking people up to heaven as they did Norman, but you’d never be able to guess that based on their personality and mannerisms alone. They were bubbly and carefree, with each step and little fidget of theirs being light, clearly accentuated with a genuine smile. Their presence put Norman a bit at ease, in harsh contrast to God’s whole deal, but it was enough to be noticeable, and enough to keep the boy up at night thinking about them. In the few times they got to interact with one another alone, they were the most pleasant person he’d ever had the pleasure of talking to while up here.

Speaking of nights, though, this was one of the lonelier ones. 

Norman was out on the balcony again. Vast and empty. And it was there he did his daily night-gazing over heaven. Despite being relatively new to the whole scene, he felt like he’d never be able to get over how gorgeous everything was.

It was a vast field of dark-grey, rolling clouds, mellowed and smooth, drifting back-and-forth in a subtle, tide-like pattern. There atop those clouds was the sea of bright, shifting halos projected from the inhabitants of heaven, a scene not unlike looking up at the night sky back on Earth. But there was something different about it. It was one thing looking up into the stars and imagining lives behind those lights, but looking  _ down _ upon a landscape, seeing that same imagery, and  _ knowing  _ there were thousands of individual souls beyond the pretty scenery was something entirely different. It filled him with a vague sense of longing that tugged at his navel, hope that there was a lot more to his life despite the uncertainty making it hard to believe.

_ Someday… _

It was then that a rogue pair of footsteps broke Norman out of his trance, and he flinched as he turned to face whoever happened to be behind him. Only to have that tense surprise be replaced with something more akin to confusion once he saw that it was just Charon, an easy smile framing their face as usual. They paused when Norman caught a hold of them, but their smile only grew as they skipped and took a seat right next to the boy. 

“What’cha doin?” They asked, wringing their two middle hands together. 

“Well, uh…” Norman had never talked to the reaper much before, but he’s spent long enough time around them not to be weirded out by their extra appendages, “I could say the same to you. Is...is God here?”

“Nope! He doesn’t need me right now!”

“Really?” He found that hard to believe, he’d never before seen them separated. It was a strange sight. “Are...are you sure?”

“Yeah! He allows me a bit of free time every now and again, so I thought I’d visit!” They fidgeted against the cold, hardened ground as they spoke, “Honestly, He only really needs me for important assignments, and you’re the only subject of interest He cares about at the moment.” Norman cringed when he registered that last bit. He didn’t much care for being thought of like a school project.

“That’s...interesting. Why visit me, though?”

Charon shrugged their shoulders, “I ‘unno!”

“Fair enough, I guess.”

Norman tore his eyes away from Charon and back onto the scenery below him. It was haunting, how much it drew his attention towards it. Like a moth to a flame.

“So...what’re ya’ doing?” The curiosity in their voice was palpable.

“Um...well, I’m just looking.”

“Looking?” They turned their head towards the scene, “Looking at what?”

“Everything, I guess.”

A giggle was heard, “That’s silly. You’re silly, Norman!”

“Why’s that?”

“You need to have something to look at! If you look at everything, you’d never be able to properly focus!” They pointed towards their eyes, “See? If I don’t use all my eyes to look at you, then I wouldn’t be able to tell you’re here!”

“Mmm…” He paused to think, “I guess that’s kind of the point, though.”

“Hm?”

“I like looking at everything. It’s good for when you wanna think and nothing else.”

There was a bit of a pause, all of Charon’s eyes were pointed fixedly towards him, glazed with intrigue.

“Whatcha thinkin’ bout, then?”

For a long moment, the boy didn’t say anything. In an anxious habit, he began tapping the ground beneath him with his finger.

“A lot of things.”

“Like what?”

“...”

Another period of silence. Neither of the two were all that good with conversation, which only made things more awkward. 

Soon enough, Norman interrupted the quiet as he stood up, “Uhm...I should go to sleep. I’m getting tired.”

Charon stood up too, a lot more of a spring to their step, “Oh oh! I wanna try!”   
“Try? Try what?”

“Sleeping!”

A tired smile cracked onto his face, “I forget, you’re not exactly human. You don’t need to sleep, do you?”

“Nope! I’ve never done it before! Will you teach me?”

“I’ll try.”

The walk over to his room was brief, Norman flicked a lightswitch off and made his way to his queen-sized bed, Charon following enthusiastically behind his each step. 

“Well first I get situated under the blankets,” He started, a light bit of humor in his voice, “Then I close my eyes, and wait for sleep to happen.”

“Ohh…” There was a pause, as the boy could feel Charon get tucked in right next to him from the shifting of blankets, “Am I doing it right?”

He wasn’t looking at them, “Are you closing your eyes?”

“I have two open. Does it count if I have some open?”

He let out a little chuckle at their serious tone, “I mean I’ve never had more than two eyes, but I doubt it.”

“Ok...ok I think I’m getting the hang of this!” 

Another laugh, “Good for you.”

A minute passed in near-complete silence, aside from the steady beat of Charon’s breathing and the occasional rustling of blankets. As he began drifting away, Norman found that he slept rather comfortably. There wasn’t the usual bout of midnight-existential-panic-attack, nor the much milder slight distress he felt from not really knowing what’s gonna happen next in his life. There wasn’t even a nightmare or anything of the sort that made the night difficult. Dare he say, it was rather pleasant, and he felt that it was because of Charon’s presence that he slept so soundly.

Even discounting the fact that it was Charon specifically, it was just nice to sleep next to someone you don’t completely distrust. But of course, nothing can be totally perfect, as the slight pang of disappointment he felt when Charon was nowhere to be found the next morning left him feeling more tired than he usually was.

~

From that point onwards though, Charon was a consistent presence in Norman’s life.

Usually they’d come visit him at night, twice every week or so. It was nice, and Norman enjoyed the comfort and rhythm that their regular visits gave him. But more than that, Charon finally gave him something to look forward to as he wasted away in that empty house.

Their meet-ups usually consisted of sitting on the balcony and looking out onto heaven, taking part in light conversation as they did so. It was never much, but it was enough for the two of them.

And then one day, Charon asked;

_ “Say, why do you spend so much time over here anyway?” _

_ “I think the view is pretty,” Norman would respond, _

_ “Is that really it?” _

_ And he’d pause. _

_ “...” _

_ “Well...um...I don’t really know how to put it, but...do you see all the halos?” _

_ “Yeah.” _

_ “They belong to other people, right?” _

_ “...What of it?” _

_ “I’d like to visit them one day.” _

_ “Oh...are…” They fidgeted in their seat, voice dimming, “Are you...lonely?” _

_ Another pause, then a simple nod. _

_ “I’m sorry…” _ _  
_ _ “Don’t apologize, it’s not like it’s your fault.” _

_ “I know, but it’s unfortunate to hear, is all.” _

_ “I just...I miss having some kind of normalcy in my life, you know? I know you wouldn’t really be able to have a point of comparison but…” He paused for a bit, mulling over his words, “Coming up to heaven was really overwhelming. And lonely. But mostly overwhelming. And having such a big change in your life happen like that it...it hurts. A lot.” _

_ “...You get used to it eventually, though, right?” _

_ “Sure, eventually. But who knows how long that’ll be.” _

_ “Hm...do you think that, if you were with other people you could talk to, you’d feel less overwhelmed?” _

_ “...Yeah. I think so.” _

_ A long moment of silence swept over the two, Norman could tell they were in deep thought for what had felt like minutes. Just as he was about to say something, Charon sprung to their feet, their easy and bright demeanor returning in full. _

_ “C’mon, get up!” _

_ “Get up? For what?” _

_ “Sleep practice!” _

_ “I-” Charon tugged on his arm with four of their hands, forcing Norman on his feet, “Wait, what’s sleep practice?” _

_ “You need to teach me how to sleep!” _

_ “Wh- again?” _

_ “I forgot how to do it!" _

_ He couldn’t help it, Norman broke out into a grin as Charon dragged him out the balcony and through his house, _

_ “Alright, but you’ll have to pay attention this time.” _

After that exchange in particular, the reaper would visit him just about every day. The two of them would never do anything more than just talk; sometimes they’d (try) to cook something in the little kitchen, or they’d take turns poking fun of the dreadfully dull magazines Norman had been provided, but it was always something casual and loose and comfortable.

_ “Wait, how many eggs should be in a cake again?” _

_ “Don’t ask me, I barely know what cake is!” _

_ “Um...four should be ok, right?” _

_ “I say eight, that’s how many eyes I have!” _

_ “I don’t know what that has to do with cake but sure, let’s try eight.” _

Norman  _ would  _ compare his developing friendship with Charon to the friends he used to have before coming to heaven- particularly Imani- but that wouldn’t be fair to either of them. They were both their own unique people, with their individual quirks and personalities, and they both brought joy to Norman in different ways. It would be disrespectful to compare the two in any sort of way. Even knowing that Imani wasn’t technically even  _ real _ , their impact on Norman still was, and very much so.

Besides, there was something different about Charon. Something that made the boy’s heart skip, and warm smiles to worm onto his face.

~~_ It was probably just the extra arms. _ ~~

It got to the point where Norman would sometimes forget his current position in heaven, that he was technically nothing more than a lab animal for God. The companionship Charon had brought him was real and familiar, in the best possible way.  
  
But right as they were getting rather close and Norman could comfortably call Charon a ‘friend’, 

  
  
_"Hey, Charon."_

_"Yeah?"_

_"_ _...Thanks."_

_"For what?"_

_"Just hanging out with me, I guess. It...means a lot."_

_ They paused, then smiled, "You don't need to thank me for that! I like hanging out with you!" _

_ "Right, but you still go out of your way to do so. I...really appreciate it." _

_ A light giggle came from them, "You're silly." _

_ And he'd laugh too, "Yeah, probably." _

They stopped coming over.

And it wasn’t like they let Norman know in advance, unlike the other times where they knew they couldn’t make it, they’d just disappeared altogether. 

The day this happened, Norman chocked it up to just a fluke, and waited patiently throughout the night for them to come back.

After three days, he was getting tired, receding back into himself and spending all his time in bed.  
  
He missed them.  
  
Where did they go?

After about a week, he began getting worried, and he wondered if something had happened to them. More particularly, if it was something bad. That thought would send him into a panic, so he tried to distract himself with cooking and other little things.

After two weeks, he couldn’t keep himself distracted from that fear anymore.  
  
Just where were they?

It took a month for him to start getting desperate. He would sit down right behind the boundaries God had set for him, eyes fixated on the horizon past the check-mark, and seriously consider breaking those rules to look for Charon. Despite knowing full well the consequences that could ensue from doing so.

After a month and a half was when he could feel himself sinking back into the patterns of life before Charon began regularly visiting him, where the days would mesh together into an incomprehensible blur, and the feelings of loneliness would eat away at his very being. This time was somehow worse, though. 

Maybe it was because he’d felt cheated. It’d felt like the only positive aspect of his current life had been taken away from him after he’d already lost so much, without any pretense or explanation or actual conclusion. No, actually, that’s exactly what it was. It hurt. Almost physically. 

And then one day, God came back to visit. 

Norman was only notified of this when He entered his home, and he felt a wave of warm air breeze through his bedroom, riling him up from bed. As fast as he could manage, he swung the covers off his body and raced to meet God near the entrance of his home.

And right next to Him stood Charon. Eyes diverted, with a small frown gracing their lips. Norman couldn’t keep his eyes off of them.

“It’s been a while. Hasn’t it?” God’s voice was spoken in layers, as if multiple people were talking at the same time, all just a bit out of sync with one another. That jarring twist on reality got Norman to pay attention to Him again.

“Ah- y-yeah, it has.”

“How long has it been, do you think?”

“I don’t know...a couple months? M-Maybe two.”

“Good. You’re still keeping track of the time.”

From then on, God began interrogating him with questions about how he’s been adapting to life in heaven. Just the usual things one would ask when catching up with an old relative, or something like that. Norman made a note not to bring up Charon during that conversation, for fear that it might get them into trouble, but before the end of today he was determined to get something of worth out of this visit.

Throughout it’s span, though, Charon had relegated themselves to a corner far off from Norman’s view, purposefully blending into the background, being as unnoticeable as they could possibly be.

“That’s good. Good,” God nodded, “ It seems you are doing just fine. As usual, I will be visiting you rather soon once more. Be prepared.” 

As He began receding into the doorway, Norman acted out of instinct. He laid a hand on one of Gods’ robes, tugging on it in the process. Unsurprisingly, it rolled right off of His boney figure.

They both paused. The world itself had felt like it’d paused, and it very well might have.

“Wait, um...I…”

“What is it?” God turned around to stare him down.

Norman was shaking, speaking past the knot in his throat hadn’t been easy.

“I...uh…”

_ Do you even know what you’re doing? _

“I...wanted to know…”

_ You’re being stupid, do you know what could happen to you if you speak out like this? _

“If it was alright if...if…”

_ I don’t care, though. _

“If Charon and I…”

_ I just want my friend back. _

“Talked. In private. J-Just for a little bit.”

There was a pause as God’s gaze bore a hole into Norman, His wide, beady eyes being impossible to read. In that moment, the boy could feel himself begin to panic, pulse racing as the seconds ticked in an agonizingly-slow fashion.

_ You fucked up. You’ve done it and fucked up. Now you’ll never be able to see them again. Who knows, you might have even gotten them into serious trouble. You fucked up. You fucked up. You- _

“Ok.”

“ _ What?  _ I-I-”

“You have only five minutes. I expect Charon to return to my side no sooner than that.”

“Yes! Of course, I-”

God interrupted him once more, turning around in an exaggerated fashion and gliding past the door frame, leaving a stunned Norman and an equally-stunned Charon alone in the quiet air.

There was a moment where the neither of them so much as breathed, before the other boy quickly moved over to the reaper, wordlessly gripping two of their hands in his.

“Norman, I’m...I’m really sorry.” They started.

“I know...I missed you.”

“...”

His grip tightened, shoulders shaking, “I missed you so much.”

“...”

“Why didn’t you tell me you weren’t coming back? Did I do something? Did I hurt you? I-I’m sorry if I did, please just-”

“-You didn’t do anything, this isn't your fault I promise!”

“Then...then what happened?”

Charon took a long breath, steadying their own nerves, “God found out, is what happened. And He got mad.”

Norman froze, “But you said- I thought that He allowed you to come over?”

“I lied...I just...I just wanted to see you. To be honest, God hates the idea of anyone else even coming in contact with you, much less...something like me.”

_ Something like me... _

“Charon I- I’m so sorry.”

“You aren’t at fault! Please don’t blame yourself, it’s all my doing, and-”

“No it’s- please, I just-” Norman paused, at a loss for words. He barely even noticed the tears pooling beneath his eyelids as he went in to hug Charon. They were taken aback for just a moment, but it didn’t last long, as three pairs of slender arms wrapped around Norman’s frame, holding him steady as he shook against their grip.   


There was a long moment where neither of them said anything, but everything was communicated by the way they held each other. If this were any other context, this would be the happiest Norman had ever been since he arrived at heaven.

Oh how he wished this were any other context.

Finally, he spoke up, “Would I...would I ever be able to see you again? See you like this, at least.”

“I’m not supposed to tell you this, but…” They nuzzled into Norman’s hair, whispering into his ear with mellowed breath, “Two months. That’s when God wants to move on and get you out of here.”

A sickening pang ran through his chest,“Two months?...I-I...I don’t know if I can wait that long.”

“It’s going to be ok! We’re going to be ok.”

They peeled away from each other, that familiar smile now back on Charon’s face as they stared into Norman’s eyes.

“I’ve missed you every bit as you’ve missed me, maybe even more,” They continued, “Just...wait for me. Alright? I promise things will get better.”

“Ok...ok,” He took a moment to steady his breathing, “I can wait. Please stay safe, though.”

“I will.”

Charon looked off to the side, before separating from Norman even more so and turning to the door. Wordlessly, and without so much as a nod, they turned the knob and ran outside, presumably to meet back up with God.

Norman caught himself waving goodbye at them, staring off as their figure shrunk into the distance. He was still waving, even when they weren’t even visible anymore. He couldn’t really stop, not unless he put his mind to it, at least. And right now, all his mind could think about was Charon.

_ Wait for me. _

He could wait for as long as it took.


End file.
